I really fucked it up this time, didn't i my dear. Didn't i my...

I really wish i could just go back in time and fix up everything i've absolutely fucked up. Particularly today, as i scratched up the left side door of my car. And of course now we have to get thw whole door replaced.... becuase dad thinks its just gona be easier than just getting it fixed. I mean, it needs to be replaced anyway, the last owner lived in melborne and someone attempted breaking into it and broke key insert thing. Whatever the fuck its called. But i just feel all the more hopeless because of my carelessness. I seriously fucking started freaking out as soon as it happened. I just feel like an absolute idiot. Why could've i kept going? any normal person would have seen that you couldn't turn into that park without hitting the car on the right, or the massive cement bollard thing on the other side. But NO, i still tried to get in. ARGH!

Of course, then i went in to work. I didn't even have the stomach to eat a pie after SCRATCHING the car. It's not like i crashed into someone! And was igt a nice quiet day for me at work? NO! Of course not. Why would whoever/whatever the hell is controlling this place be nice and let me calm down from my incident with a quiet day at work? I started at 12, did not even get a chance to do anything but make burgers, put chips on, popcorn, etc till about atleast 3.30. Yes, that is only 3 and a half hours, but when you're a making like 5 burgers minute, plus the rest with people repeatedly asking you how long is the popcorn? have i got a twister coming? it becomes very  very daunting. And to top it all off i had a break of 10 mins, that was it. Fuck i was frustrated. and it was made all the worse with the combination of the car and way too many customers.

So clearly this is why i want to be able to go back and fix up what i've done.  I would've been smart enough to just park someone where with some common sense. I would've had the sense to maybe ask for help? Not get so fucking stressed out over something i really have no control over what so ever. And thats just today too. There are so so so many situations in my life i wish i could just go back and fix. Or go back and see myself and go "Jack! What are you doing? Come on, think1!"

And i like to think i have common sense! Well, i am well and truely unsure of that one now.....